Choices

Newsflash from the land of obvious: sometimes, the choices we make are not very good. Last night at 11:30 I basically had to tell oldest daughter A that she made a bad one she's just going to have to live with.

A is currently taking the heat from mom these days since K is safely ensconced with us. A lived with us for a short while back in '98 or '99 and her mom really put the screws to her to get her to go back. She did -- to her everlasting regret. Knowing her relationship with her mom is always on thin ice, when it came time to choose a college, we advised her to go away to school. She refused for reasons I don't think we still really understand. Now in her sophomore year, she has been living in an apartment for the summer and can't afford to stay, nor can we afford to supplement her income. (Much as we'd like to). She has to go back home in 2 weeks. Of course, her mother is quite angry with her for encouraging K to live here and life at their house will not be much fun.

I think the worst thing about being a parent is the point at which you have to give up control and let them fly on their own. This is something we "fringe-parents" (i.e. non-custodial) should be used to. You know the crash is going to happen and you hate to watch it. But it's what we do. Let them go, be there when they fall to earth. Then we dust them off and let them go again. And again. Then one day, they soar.

But it's still knot-in-the-gut awful to have nothing better to say than "I'm sorry" when they have to live with the crummy choices they've made.

I, too, suffer from bad decision making now and then. I too must live with the fruit. Father, have mercy on us both.

Far too often the choices reality proposes are such as to take away one’s taste for choosing.- Jean Rostand