Friday, June 17, 2005

birthday

Let it be known for posterity that I am about to turn 38. One week from tomorrow.

Let it also be known that I don't feel 38. Or 37 for that matter. Many days I think my maturation process halted at 17. Well, that's not true. I still think and do stupid stuff. Only now I regret it more and sometimes I think about the consequences before I do it.

Such is the price for growing older.

Celebrities also turning 38 this year: Nicole Kidman (on Monday), Lili Taylor, Pamela Anderson (oh, goodie), Carrie-Anne Moss, Maria Bello, Anna Nicole Smith (oh, goodie x 2), Faith Hill, Paul Giamatti, Harry Connick, Jr., Julia Roberts, Rufus Sewell, Chris Rock, David Boreanaz, Melina Kanakarides.

This is my way of confirming to myself that I could still be hot. Who's hotter than Julia, Nicole and Faith?

Oh, me, that's right.

1 comment:

Chixulub said...

My wife is hotter than Julia, it's true.

But aside from that picture this: A girl with good genetics (by accident) is hooked up with a good cosmetic dentist and a plastic surgeon (by accident to the extent ath money/insurance is a lottery). What do you get? Those stars you're comparing yourself to.

I went to Johnson County Community College with a girl posed for Playboy (later). She was great to look at, but in all honesty, she was a dim light compared to another girl in the same class who, as far as I know, never posed for more than a yearbook photo.

The Playboy girl? I make my living in the graphic arts and can do Photoshop shit that is, without tooting my own horn, incredible. Give me naked pictures of my former classmate and any version of Photoshop Adobe has put out in the past decade and I'll make her a goddess.

For that matter, give me the roll of film you wouldn't let me develop, and I'll make you into an Internet Sex Goddess. It's easy, these days...

But like with the money wars that people engage in, who are you competing against? I'd love to adopt a daughter out of China even though I have two delightful daughters, but I can find you (without trying) a couple that had a kid, adopted a girl out of China, then adopted a five sibling set out of Russia. The eldest of which, if memory serves, was wheelchair bound.

I'm not going to compete with them, their real competition is meeting the needs of a family of 11.