No child left behind?

Let me start by saying that I'm proud that we live in one of the most ethnically diverse areas in the metro. I really thought that meant something... I used to anyway. When T said he wanted to join Big Brother/Big Sisters last year, I thought I was up for it. But the moment we met our little brother I knew that when it came to diversity, race and culture, I really didn't know a thing.

Because there were so many black boys on the BB/BS waiting list we said we'd like to be matched with one. We ended up with TC, a boy of 11. TC lives with his grandmother and attends middle school. He has severe allergies, ADHD, is smaller than most kids his age and gets in to a lot of fights. Despite the best efforts of his counselors, grandmother, coach and us, he has been suspended 3 times and is now on probation for stealing. Bear in mind he's only 12.

You know what? TC is also an awesome kid. I thought about him yesterday when I read this. Because I wished for a program like that here. I'm always wondering what we can do to keep this sweet, loving, energetic boy from becoming another statistic. How can we keep him interested and engaged at school when they keep throwing him out? He gets in to fights because he gets picked on. It's a common theme in every school, but in the old days they used to just haul you to the principal's office. Now they boot you. I thought he had to be exaggerating but I had a conversation with K's advisor at her new school (same district)and he said even if they are defending themselves, kids are suspended if they do anything but ward off the blows. Crazy.

TC's life is so different from mine. Forget living in the same city, sometimes it seems like we're not even on the same planet. He tells us about how his uncle hates white people, about how before he knew us he didn't really like white people either. His one white relative by marriage is as odd to him as my one black relative by marriage is to my family (although it doesn't seem that odd to me, he's a great looking guy). He tells us about how his aunt & her boyfriend fight and hit each other, he knows someone with a gun in the trunk of his car, about his uncle in prison and his uncle who's a pastor. His grandmother is working on her master's degree and his mother is a former drug user. What a tangle this guy has to sort out.

Do we have anything at all to offer? With God's help; only with his help. We do love this boy. There are days when he pleads to stay with us and it breaks my heart because I want him to. I know we could be great parents to him, regardless of the differences in the color of our skin and the "stuff" in our lives. We're trying to give him some confidence and encouragement but I'm afraid he's already given up on himself: when we told him that K was going to a particular school, he said, "Oh, that smart school? I'd never get in there. I'm too stupid."

You know what kills me? There are hundreds of thousands of kids just like him. Who's advocating for these kids? When our government says no child should be left behind, do they realize what they are promising? And if they do, how can they ever hope to fulfill it?

All that said, I wish more people would consider BB/BS. 3-4 hours a week might change a kid's life. Talk about a small price to pay to literally change the world and learn a little something about yourself in the process.