I've got the blah-gs

I can't believe how fast time seems to go when you're just living life, doing your thing. Next week is my birthday, another mile marker on the freeway to 40. There aren't many left... I wish I had more to show for myself. 20 years ago I thought I'd be high, high up in the advertising food chain with a nice house, a devoted husband, a couple of kids and a book in the works. Instead I have an ordinary worker bee marketing job, a modest home, a devoted husband and a blog.

It's true, I took a ride down the divorce highway, I frittered away a couple of great jobs, I voluntarily gave up having any kids and my house needs a thorough cleaning. My poetry is cheesy and I'm not disciplined enough to outline, much less write, a novel. But it's funny, every time I feel like singing the blues, I start counting my blessings instead.

Today isn't a bad day. My marriage is solid, by stepdaughters love me, I have 3 good friends that have stuck by me for half my life. I have great books, plenty of food, God in my life and a secret seed of joy in my heart that I don't show as often as I should. My parents are alive, my dogs wag their tails when they see me and people ask me things at work as if my opinion matters. I get to go on vacation in 3 weeks and again in 4 months. I am spoiled, fat n' happy and my hair is even softer today (new shampoo).

Deep down inside, I'm relentlessly cheerful. Lord help me, but I am.