September 7, 2007

Yeah, but do they eat at Taco Bell?

My neighbor "Mel" once told T and I that he and his wife were selling their house because they "Didn't want to live in little Mexico". Unfortunately, his fat, wheyfaced fishwife, the REALTOR, couldn't sell the place and took it off the market.

Last night "Mel" commented that the family that lives between us was "getting worse all the time". "There's more than one family living there" (it's parents and adult children, maybe an occassional brother stops in). "They're working on cars for money". (GASP!) "We're going to need a giant privacy fence". "They're not going to paint their house". (For the record, we attempted once to paint our peely metal siding only once in the 13 years we've owned our house and when it didn't work, we gave up. Currently we're allowing it to peel down to bare metal. Their house is freshly painted.)

Mel and his wife plan to "report" them. They "going ot put a stop to it". Well, let's make a list of my neighborly sins: My green pool and half demolished tree house must rank higher than their cars in the driveway. What about our 25' camper in the driveway? The two big piles of broken tree limbs I plan to illegally burn this month? My crabgrass? The 3 bags of soil sitting on the crappy picnic table that have been there ALL SUMMER???

Well, as Ron White says you can't fix stupid. Or racist, apparently. Mel said he'd rather "live next to a house full of drug-dealing blacks" than the nice family I took tomatoes over to a couple of weeks ago. The same people that sent over gorditas, Mexican candy, roasted corn and any number of other things in our ongoing international food exchange. The same family whose little 2-year old girl came running over to me the other day, chubby arms extended, so I could swing her up in my arms and cuddle her for a minute, just when I was grieving super-hard for a baby of my own.

I hope Whitey puts his house back on the market soon. Maybe a nice Hispanic family will buy it. Cause right now the most offensive neighbors in my neighborhood stopped to talk the most vicious trash I've ever heard last night. I comprehend more Spanish at this point than I do the shit he was spewing. At least my Mexican neighbors can speak a language I understand.