Tuesday, March 22, 2005

mellowing with age

Saw my ex yesterday. While running an errand I jumped off the highway to grab lunch (mmm, love eating in the car) and apparently some massive construction project took out the power for the traffic signals in 2 intersections in Roeland Park. Yup, there he was in his utility blues, patrol car lights flashing, directing traffic. Funny, 12 years later I can still tell his mood by how he's moving his arms and hands. Course no one's going to be happy to be a traffic cop in the rain. And he most certainly did not appear happy.

He looked nice though. In a rounder, grayer sort of way. Unmistakable profile. Made me check the mirror to see how I'm holding up. Not bad, I think. Made me also think lots of wistful things, mostly relating to failure and the crystal clear hindsight I now have about that marriage, and me in that marriage. Some of us carry baggage and some of us just stuff it in a closet somewhere because we can't quite bear to part with it.

I hear he's a daddy twice over and belongs to a church now. I've heard people mellow with age.

Even me. Even him.

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