Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Randomness of Thursday afternoon

Place I would live if I suddenly found myself single again: Library Lofts
Soaps I would buy if I were independently wealthy: Lush
Happiest thing that happened to me today: Weight Watchers On the Go
Finally, I get to see it: Nascar 3-D
Is this what heaven looks like? Four Seasons Maui

This is the kind of day I should just go home and go to bed. I'm no good for anyone and I know it. It started this morning over frozen slabs of ribs and continued on this afternoon over procedural stuff at work.

K said something profound to me the other day in the car: "I realized that every second, once it goes, you can never get it back. So I figured I just need to deal with it and be happy." This was in the context of all the things she hates to do, like homework and chores. She's a smart girl. Smarter than me, I guess.

I wonder if young girls know that even when they're middle aged girls, sometimes they'll still daydream of being somewhere else, you know, better. I want to tell K and A this but I think it will just depress them.

On the 30th, our church begins the "40 Days of Purpose" a Bible study based on the Purpose Driven Life. I'm hoping for something wonderful. "Cause on every drive home, I blank out in traffic wondering over and over -- why am I here?

I don't subscribe to either of these guys' philosophies but these quotes do seem apropos in my current frame of mind. Actually, the Kierkegaard is kind of funny. I know the answer but it doesn't prevent me from asking the question from time to time.

Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here? What is this thing called the world? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted? And If I am compelled to take part in it, Where is the director? I want to see him.
-Kierkegaard

Being religious means asking passionately the question of the meaning of our existence and being willing to receive answers, even if the answers hurt.
- Paul Tillich

If I am here to please God, then let me begin. I hope there is just some small thing in my daily life in which He might find pleasure. But how do I know? It's not like He's tapping me on the shoulder and saying "Hey kid, good job.". It would be nice if He did.

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