Time for a Change

Yesterday I finally said aloud the thing that has been rubbing me raw for a long time now... my life is too much, too fast.  Every week is packed from end to end and much like the last -- I feel the summer is running away from me.  I actually feel a little nostalgic for the months I spent at home 2 and 3 years ago after my layoffs.  I didn't have any money but I did have lots of time.  I could think.  I was organized.  I was unemployed but I was more myself than I am today.

This morning, T headed out to work early and I lounged in bed for a while, enjoying the first sun spilling through the windows and thinking how nice it would be to call in sick.  I could vacuum and dust, give the baths a quick scrub, vacuum out my car, go grocery shopping and maybe still have time for a movie.  It's not a lot of time I need -- maybe 3 to 5 days to get my life in order.  To get the closets rearranged, my new furniture ordered, to try my cucumber soup recipe, pour some soap, have an uninterrupted afternoon browsing books at Barnes & Noble.  To get my clothing donations out the door, cut the mulberries out of the hedge and shop for another swimsuit before they are all gone out of the stores.  Of course, I couldn't call in sick, so I hauled myself out of bed.  Big sigh.  Renewed aggrevation.

Everyone says it but today I really do feel it: time is my most precious commodity. So the question is, when I spend it, where does it go? Am I wasting it?   Is it being spent in a way that reflects well on me?  On God?  If I open up my time checkbook, does it balance? 

I was browsing Real Simple last night and I realized there are still some ways to make better use of what I do have.  Some things might have to go bye-bye... and some are already gone.  It's time to put my most precious resource to best use.  I'm even going to spend a little on myself so I can stop feeling so resentful that there's never anything left. 

I think everyone around me will be glad I did.

Flowers have a time to reblossom, but human beings are never young again.
-Chinese Proverb

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson