So I think I'm going to the open audition for Survivor tomorrow. I'm thinking for my 2 minute video I'll do a cheesy commercial for -- myself.
Are you tired of stock characters? Have you gotten bored with the Survivor stud, the camp tramp and the fiesty fiftysomethings that can’t keep up physically? Then you need to meet (the yorkist rose)!
Rose is an intelligent, opinionated thirty-seven year old who has a sharp wit and a big mouth. She comes complete with an MBA, a fantastic work ethic, a husband who won’t miss her very much and a propensity to share her opinions with everyone.
Rose won’t be taking her clothes off for peanut butter and chocolate but she does come with a guarantee of at least 2 minutes of great TV time when she runs her mouth at a tribal council and gets voted off.
Lucky for you, Rose is available right now in the bonus size: normally in a 145 pound package, for a limited time only, she comes with an extra 15% free!
So call today for your exclusive Yorkist Rose Survivor contestant. Enjoy a 39-day trial and only pay if you’re completely satisfied! Dial xxx/xxx-xxxx—operators are waiting!
I like it.
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A little poetry, but mostly just the weird stuff that comes out of my head
About Me
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2005
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June
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1 comment:
I think you should do Fear Factor if you're going to contribute to the Decline of the West in a direct way.
But then, if it was up to me, the next season of Survivor would be:
Survivor: South Chicago
No voting off islands or anything like that. Take half a dozen college educated white folks, dress them in business attaire, and drop them at the end of the Green Line with no money, no identification, no cell phones, etc. For little survival packets, you don't even need to place anything, let them find guns, steal credit cards, whatever it takes to get to the Hancock building first.
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