I met someone who absolutely should be on the show—Staff Seargant Hazel B., who is petite, loud, funny, smart and tough. Imagine Rob C and Alicia having a love child… that’s Hazel. Her friend Hillbilly was kind enough to recon the auditions for us and tell us what not to do. Her tips:
- do not writhe on the floor
- don’t say you survived anything
- don’t drink before your audition
- don’t look at the floor and mumble
- if you’re a fat guy, don’t take your shirt off
- if you’re a fat girl, keep your tatoos to yourself.
We “early voted” several types of candidates out: anyone wearing high heels, anyone who complains about the rain while standing in line for Survivor, anyone who complains about standing up for 4 hours while standing in line for Survivor.
Lately I’d have a better chance of being hit by lightening that getting picked but I’m pretty sure the lightening thing wouldn’t be as fun.
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