blogjam

Christmas is coming
It's obvious that Christmas plans have overtaken every part of my life. The writing has gone by the wayside and so has everything else I normally do in the evenings and on the weekends. Now there is just endless evenings of wrapping in front of ABC Family's "25 days of Christmas". Actually I'm moving away from wrapping and on to Christmas cards, now.

I don't think this is a bad thing, I'm just saying...

Getting out in front of the New Year's Resolution
I've given myself an early New Year's resolution, promising myself and God to get back to reading the word each day. I equate my spiritual journey to weight loss -- something I need to do for my own health but also something which is easy to blow off when temptation comes along. I'm ashamed to admit this but it's the reality I live in. I'm easing in to it by switching back and forth between my Bible (in a kind of wherever-it-falls-open methodology) and Nicole Johnson's book "Fresh Brewed Life". Last night I read through most of the first chapter of her book and most of Joel. I don't know what it all means yet but I know I feel better already. I was starting to get a dark angry cloud and this morning it really did feel as though the sun was coming out again. It was so good to read that there are other women who feel just like I do sometimes -- when I think I am going crazy and I must be the only one thinking this stuff...

Ms. Johnson quotes another author, Emilie Griffin:

"HE is the one who can tell us the reason for our existence, our place in the scheme of things, our real identity. It is an identity we can't discover for ourselves, that others can't discover in us -- the mystery of who we really are. How we have chased around the world for answers to that riddle, looked into the eyes of others for some hint, some clue, hunted in the multiple worlds of pleasure and experience and self-fulfillment for some glimpse, some revelation, some wisdom, some authority to tell us our right name and our true destination."

And that is how I feel. Maybe this is a mid life crisis only a little bit early, perhaps. I want to have a talk with God and ask Him, "What is my right name?" Where do I fit? Who needs me and for what?

Blessed Beyond Measure
What makes me most irritated about myself and that grey cloud I've been under is the absolute stupidity of it. I am so blessed it's practically running out my ears. My life is a little glittering diamond of a life, sparkly, hard, full of beauty and promise. I am really, really thankful. I am.

But still, I'd like to know,

what
is
my
right
name?