loud and proud

Last night Oprah did a show about the lives of 30-year-old women around the world. I wasn't going to watch but it was actually really interesting... that's interesting, like I didn't know we were so... such... losers.

I was surprised and to find that I was a little ignorant about some of the other lifestyles and traditions featured on the show-- Kuwait, Rwanda, Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), Australia, Mexico, Brazil, France, Iraq, etc. Except for the woman living in Rwanda, it appears we U.S. women are missing the international boat on shopping, massage, wine, body upkeep and general merry-making. What really disappointed me though was the constant refrain from all the women in these varied and culturally rich places: American women are fat, American women are culturally ignorant, American women don't take pride in their appearance, American women don't enjoy their femininity, American women are loud, big, pushy, self-absorbed. And so on.

Wow, well, OK. As a fat, loud, comfortably-dressed, ignorant American woman, I'd just like to say -- whatever. I don't want to excuse real ignorance and lack of concern for other people groups. But in my own defense, I can only say that there are are 298 million U.S. residents -- and 6.114 billion other people in the world. We're 4.6% of the world population, according to the U.S. census bureau. And we're supposed to know about every thing that happens in each and every one of those other countries? The really ironic part is that in many cases, the women from those countries don't appear to know us at all.

The average American woman I know is a tender mom, a good friend, generous to a fault, loves to laugh, longs for romance, is a loyal wife or girlfriend. She's thoughtful, funny and really, pretty open minded. She'd like to be thinner, prettier and have more massages but she responds to stress by eating and yet struggles with her self image. She works in and out of the home.

The women I know openly weep over world disasters -- like the tsunami in Asia. They don't have emotional off switches and they don't shout everything they say.

But it isn't just American women: that's what people think of all Americans, isn't it? Dare I say it? I shall! I think it's fashionable to bash Americans, while at the same time holding out a hand for cash. We give -- but not enough. We're rich -- but we're stupid. We're poorly educated -- but our universities are filled with international students. We're lazy -- but we work too hard.

Here's what we are: we're blessed, we're lucky, we're who we are by a simple twist of fate -- that we were born here and not in Bangladesh or Siberia. Now that we are here, we work hard. And we'll share with our world brothers and sisters, even as we're vilified and demonized.

I wouldn't trade it for the world, whatever they say about us.

Merry Christmas

My best gift has already come. My childhood friend came to my dad's house on Saturday. We've been friends for almost 30 years, so there isn't much we can't or don't talk about and it was so deeply joyful to see her. I can't even say how much I love spending time with old friends, I should stop being so lazy and do this more often.

That's Christmas for me -- that feeling of being deep and safe in the arms of family and friends. I'm so lucky, because I love where I work and I am so happy when I come home at night to my husband and kid(s) and critters. There have been times lately when I have felt restless and lonely but I just got a heaping helping of what I need most-- closeness, affection, laughter, trust, friendship, safety. Turkey and mashed potatoes, Scrabble with my mom, the ritual of Christmas morning (even if it's a little early). These are the real gifts -- the ones that don't come with bills and the ones that I will hide in my heart for the dry times.

Thanks to God for his gift that enables all other gifts, tangible and intangible. What we have is so precious, I hope you all stop and savor the flavors and aromas of life this Christmas season.

And if I don't talk to you again, Merry, merry Christmas.

Gloria, Gloria! they cry, for their song embraces all that the Lord has begun this day: Glory to God in the highest of heavens! And peace to the people with whom he is pleased! And who are these people? With whom does the good Lord choose to take his pleasure? The shepherds. The plain and nameless--whose every name the Lord knows well. You. And me.—

--Walter Wangerin Jr.

"Somehow he [Tim] gets thoughtful sitting by himself so much, and thinks the strangest things you ever heard. He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant for them to remember upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see."

--Charles Dickens (A Christmas Carol)

blogjam

Christmas is coming
It's obvious that Christmas plans have overtaken every part of my life. The writing has gone by the wayside and so has everything else I normally do in the evenings and on the weekends. Now there is just endless evenings of wrapping in front of ABC Family's "25 days of Christmas". Actually I'm moving away from wrapping and on to Christmas cards, now.

I don't think this is a bad thing, I'm just saying...

Getting out in front of the New Year's Resolution
I've given myself an early New Year's resolution, promising myself and God to get back to reading the word each day. I equate my spiritual journey to weight loss -- something I need to do for my own health but also something which is easy to blow off when temptation comes along. I'm ashamed to admit this but it's the reality I live in. I'm easing in to it by switching back and forth between my Bible (in a kind of wherever-it-falls-open methodology) and Nicole Johnson's book "Fresh Brewed Life". Last night I read through most of the first chapter of her book and most of Joel. I don't know what it all means yet but I know I feel better already. I was starting to get a dark angry cloud and this morning it really did feel as though the sun was coming out again. It was so good to read that there are other women who feel just like I do sometimes -- when I think I am going crazy and I must be the only one thinking this stuff...

Ms. Johnson quotes another author, Emilie Griffin:

"HE is the one who can tell us the reason for our existence, our place in the scheme of things, our real identity. It is an identity we can't discover for ourselves, that others can't discover in us -- the mystery of who we really are. How we have chased around the world for answers to that riddle, looked into the eyes of others for some hint, some clue, hunted in the multiple worlds of pleasure and experience and self-fulfillment for some glimpse, some revelation, some wisdom, some authority to tell us our right name and our true destination."

And that is how I feel. Maybe this is a mid life crisis only a little bit early, perhaps. I want to have a talk with God and ask Him, "What is my right name?" Where do I fit? Who needs me and for what?

Blessed Beyond Measure
What makes me most irritated about myself and that grey cloud I've been under is the absolute stupidity of it. I am so blessed it's practically running out my ears. My life is a little glittering diamond of a life, sparkly, hard, full of beauty and promise. I am really, really thankful. I am.

But still, I'd like to know,

what
is
my
right
name?

Food Porn

One of the biggest laughs I've gotten so far this week has to do with the introduction (or reintroduction, rather) of the Monster Burger at Hardee's. First, read this article. You should probably also know that I am a former marketing manager for Hardee's. Hence, the reason I care about this tempest in a drink cup.

After years of some really hard times, Hardee's is getting back on its feet -- using whatever means are available, even "food porn". I love the fact that they are now getting some really high profile PR by flying in the face of the healthy-low carb-diet-ourselves-miserable mentality we're beginning to adopt here in the land of plenty. Not that we shouldn't look in the mirror a little more: we are pretty fat. Believe me, as a lifelong dieter, I don't think people should eat a Monster Burger every day. But come ON --- once in a while is OK.

After all, any guesses on the average fat and calories of a sandwich at Panera? They have 8 sandwiches that are over 800 calories each. How about the Dulce de Leche Caramel Cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory? 1010 cal/71 g fat/84 g carb. There's over a 1,000 calories in the Kung Pao Shrimp at P.F. Chang's, 1,280 calories in the Sweet and Sour Pork. Schlotsky's still boasts the highest calorie single sandwich I've ever seen -- the large Original has 1917 cal/102 g fat/8 g fiber/161 g carbs. Now that's a sandwich any Survivor cast member would love to see in Jeff Probt's hands on challenge day.

Truth is, there's a lot of food out there that is bad for you in quantity. But there's also undeniable pleasure in treating yourself to something decadent and gooey once in a great while. After many years of Weight Watchers, I still eat pizza and I still brake for the s'mores and other yummy things at Silver Dollar City when we go at Christmas time. I've learned that I simply don't trust people who don't like food. The whole "food for fuel" mentality honestly gets me down. So we try to eat light and healthy every day -- and have really good treats once in a while. Shave ice on vacation. Mac & cheese and a dixie cup sized taste of homemade peach cobbler from a soul food place on a Friday night, just before we go burn off some energy decorating the church for Christmas. Italian at a nice restaurant before we go to see a play. These things are, in my estimation, part of why it's great to live in America today.

Some day Americans will be thinner and healthier and then we'll need another movement -- one to restore people's sense of humor, which is being dieted off, or liposuctioned out, maybe.

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-W. Somerset Maugham