Habla usted Ingles?

My post today was inspired by the above article. I am not going to even address the hateful comments made by some who view Kansas as barefoot-ignorant and undeserving of a place in the Union. To get things rolling, I pose two questions: 1) what is our national language and 2) why does it matter?

A: Surprise! The U.S. has no national language. While we have a national bird, a national anthem, even a national flower, there is no national language. But we've been doing OK so far: for a while now, everyone's been getting off the boat and generally agreeing to American English. We've managed to work in some non-English words too -- we borrow liberally from everyone to reflect the many Irish, Italian, German, Polish, Greek, Cuban, Chinese, etc. etc. people who've joined our ranks here in the USA over the last 300 years. But mostly we speak English.

A #2: A national language is really only about convenience. In basic terms, taxpayers don't want to pay what it would take to communicate to the hundreds of nationalities that live here in their own native tongues. Until science perfects a Star-trekkie instant language converter, we have to manage the old fashioned way: we have to learn the dominant language of the country in which we choose to live. Therefore, if I decided to say, move to Spain, I would definitely need to work on the Castillian, 'cause mine sucks. If I wanted to move to France, well, I just wouldn't. French seems too hard.

I guess it could also be a sign of unity and maybe that's why we're struggling now... It's no longer really cool in the world view to be "American". The world thinks we're fat, we're arrogant and we have lousy food. They want our lifestyle but no longer want our culture or our values. In my opinion this is starting to foster a national attitude of self-loathing and has made us kind of cranky and fractious.

Moving on to the issue of Spanish vs. English:
Hispanics moving to the US want to preserve their language and their culture. Hooray for them. That's not sarcastic, I mean it. It's great. BUT if you want your kids educated in public school they should 1) be told to follow instructions and 2) it should be expected that they will need to speak the dominant, if unofficial, language, which is English. If you want your kids to speak only Spanish, you should home school. (Again, if you are going to move to another country to live, it really behooves you to learn the language. And yes, I know it takes time: we'll wait.)

The kid in question was born here-- Spanish is no more his "native language" than French is mine. His father's - yes. OK. But he is, whether he likes it or not, (North) American -- just as I am. The thing that really jumped out to me when I read this article is that this incident took place in an alternate high school, known here as AEP. That means this 17 year old American kid was kicked out of regular high school -- I'm sure he didn't just up and volunteer to go to AEP, which is usually not a super-fun place to be. He was warned previously that day about speaking in Spanish and if quizzed, probably a whole bunch of times before that. I know it sounds dumb to make a rule against speaking Spanish, but consider: I don't know about you but if I'm a teacher in any high school and particularly an urban AEP, I want to know what the kids are saying. If this information is still applicable in 2005 (and I'm sure it is), 4 out of every 100 teachers is attacked by a student... in a district the size of USD 500, Turner and Piper (lumped here for convenience and referred to as the KCK schools) that's about 2 teachers per year being jumped by kids. But that's a national average, which factors in rural and private schools. These are urban schools and in urban schools the numbers are higher. So asking a 17-year old American male who is months away from being an adult and most likely pretty grownup sized to speak English in an AEP suddenly becomes more reasonable, at least it does to me.

To summarize, I think it might be wise for the federal government to designate something as the national language, as our neighbors to the north have done. English seems the natural choice as it is still the primary language of at least 70% of Americans. This is not to exclude anyone but rather to preclude any more bickering and any possible lawsuits that may come of the issue. We've more important things to worry about, don't we?And following the crafty Canuck's example, we can designate a second language, too, this perhaps being Spanish. Why not? It couldn't hurt our kids to be bilingual -- practically every other country in the world requires their kids to learn another language. We can too.

If schools want to preclude kids from speaking anything except proper English, they better have it in writing and give the parents plenty of warning and a reasonable explanation. Personally I think they should preclude kids from talking teenagerish: this means no use of the words "like", "totally", "tight", "da bomb", "hella" and "bling". I find that far more obnoxious and just as indecipherable (Good God when did I become an old lady?).

And, finally, if you want to preserve your culture, please do so. Most of us in the US are pretty open minded. We understand that you don't want to forget your background -- neither do we. That's why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Columbus Day. That's why there are still places where whole towns plant tulips in the spring and why you can walk in to the stores and buy anything from Kimchi to Kolachis. But let's NOT twist what is really a disciplinary matter and make it in to a racist incident. While we have certainly had our problems in the past it's still a national point of pride that this may be the one place on earth where pretty much everyone is welcome.