a break from the Spain trip

Happy belated Thanksgiving. At least I hope it was.

Mine was pretty OK. We had a long trip to see T's sister and during the drive I had a lot of time to think about stuff. Someone I know has been feeling very low and bad and not only did I not help, I didn't even know. Then there were days when I felt low and bad too -- but it passed. And I wanted to tell that person that we all feel this way sometimes. There are days when we all sit outside the circle, feeling fat, feeling old, feeling like we don't fit in. We all feel like the square peg in a whole world of round holes... too dumb for some company and too smart for others. We all crack jokes and hope someone will laugh and cringe when they don't. We all do what we can to feel secure in a world that's made to hurt us. We all long to be home and hope like hell that it feels right when we get there.

It's easy to start thinking that it must be better elsewhere: some other state, some other job, some other continent, some other plane of existence. But I personally can't keep looking ahead for what will make me happy. I know I need to find it here, today.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. -James Oppenheim