confessional part 2

1. While I know what I must do to help myself, I don't really know how to do it. I have a lot of growing up to do.
2. I have to choose just 2 books for Spain. There are 8 or 10 on my table and one in my car. I alos have like, 5 magazines I haven't read.
3. I never sleep any more. I doze and wake and think about my life until the waking and dreaming wind together and things stop making sense.
4. I dreamed he turned to me and said, "Why are you always so far away?" It scared me so much I woke up.
5. I have 4 1/2 feet of magazines I need to go through at work. I measured them.
6. I bought a phrase book and now I know how to cuss in Spanish.
7. I'm looking forward to 16 hours on a plane but I'm sure I'll change my mind a couple of hours in to the flight.
8. I want to lie in Spain and tell people I'm Canadian so they won't ask me about Iraq or Bush or the White Sox.
9. Sometimes I think about going home and getting drunk -- I never do. But I sure think about it.
10. My 11th wedding anniversary is Saturday. I never believed that anyone would love me for that long.
11. "Love, Actually" makes me cry. Every time. It's the scenes in the airport that get me most. It's that concept of how we, at our most basic, are really loving beings. I also like that there are so many stories interwoven into the movie and not all of them have happy endings. Love isn't always requited. Love isn't always joyful. Sometimes it's damn hard. But it actually is all around.

"Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love!" - Sam from "Love, Actually"